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caesar zeppeli is canonically bisexual. seriously can we stop denying it when messina literally tells caesar “your attraction to him [joseph] is that of a lass’” which literally means “you’re crushing on him like a little girl” and caesar doesn’t deny it he just furthers insists on saving joseph?? and he’ll gaze at joseph lovingly but try and cover it up with a cough. he let’s joseph call him “my little caesar”. he gives his entire legacy to joseph, even though joseph had just insulted his entire lineage.
caesar was in love with joseph and araki made that so, so clear. stop trying to call it “just bros” or say “they were like brothers” because that’s how josuke and koichi are, how jotaro and polnareff are, how narancia and mista are. caesar and joseph treat each other like so much more.
basically just stop erasing caesar’s bisexuality it’s fucking annoying.
i was bored out of my mind so i did this and none of my friends give a shit so im forcing you guys to see it <333333
(all convos start with me asking if they like dragons)
jonathan 😭 pretty accurate
joseph, very dry tbh i expected more
jotaro???????? attempting to gaslight me i think??????????? kinda accurate
JOSUKE????? i think he misread ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
giorno, understandable
jolyne (she proceeded to beat me up after this-)
johnny-? what is that supposed to mean-?
GAPPY??????????????????? ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
and jodio being an absolute degenerate
polnareff: okay, let's hear about the kiss. was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? or was it like, you know, a "i gotta have you know" kind of thing?
kakyoin: well, at first it was really intense, you know. and then, oh god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
polnareff: but was he holding you? or were his hands like, on your back?
kakyoin: no, actually, they started on my waist. and then, they slid up and then they were in my hair.
polnareff & avdol: ooh.
[meanwhile]
jotaro: and then we kissed.
joseph: tongue?
jotaro: yeah.
joseph: cool.
hi it me araki I put this in the manga but my editors took it out -araki
ive scrounged the internet (well, lightly sifted through and then got bored) for a jojos bizarre adventure sexuality headcanons post that I agreed with completely and I literally could not find any so here’s my opinion that nobody asked for 😘
feel free to argue with me in the comments I’ll probably respond lol
first up Jonathan joestar- straight ally
I think most people can agree that Jonathan is probs the straightest joestar (that I know of, I’ve read up to part 7 but I’ve heard gappy is pretty fucking straight) but yeah he’s straight
He probs doesn’t even fully understand what being not straight is but if someone he knew came out to him he would be very supportive even if he didn’t know what it rlly meant
speedwagon-gay
idk if this is a hot take or not but this man did not have any sort of interest in women and was never married which if he was gay would make since back then bc being not straight wasn’t the norm lmao also there was that one scene in part 2 where Joseph was implying that speedwagon might’ve felt something more than friendship for jonathan so that’s why i think this
(I’m not gonna do dio bc his bisexuality was already confirmed by the one and only araki so that doesn’t rlly need an explanation 😭)
joseph joestar: bicurious (female leaning)
I was scratching my head tryna come up with a sexuality for this fucker and eventually settled for bicurious bc we all know that there was sum going on with him and caesar but also he had a wife whom he cheated on with another woman so I mean
caesar was def his awakening that he might like men but sadly the rocks smashed caesar before Joseph could 😔 also Joseph wears far too many crop tops to be straight like let’s be honest
(bicurious applies to oldseph aswell)
Caesar zeppeli: homoromantic bisexual
dis bro would never date women. but eat them out? Hell fucking yeah
he like dick too tho bc ik damn well if this hoe didn’t get crushed by a rock he would not have a wife like bro what
The words caesar and wife have no business being in the same sentence. Yk this hoe would have a hella 100% Italian husband named like Giuseppe or some shit who would only eat spaghetti for dinner literally every night
this poor dude just wanted some joestarussy but we all know that rocks are homophobic 😔
lisa lisa-lesbian
she’s lesbian bc I said so she married a dude bc she was bored ok I literally do not care what anybody says
look at her
she’s a lesbian
for all the pillarmen it literally depends on the day, like one day they have big buff boyfriends and then a good nights sleep will make them like homophobic superstraights
jotaro kujo: gay demiromantic asexual (sex indifferent)
first off jotaro really does not strike me as the type to think about romantic relationships all that much and definitely does not consider anybody for a romantic relationship upon first meeting them. he needs time to feel something more than platonic. I’ve seen people say that he’s aroace which I do think could be possible but I personally think that he does want love and care wether it be platonic or romantic
asexual just makes sense for him I’m pretty sure the majority of the fandom (not including the homophobic pissbabies) can agree with this. he doesn’t understand how people can just look at someone and feel attracted to them, bro probably discovered asexuality when he saw a meme that he related to and saw the asexual hashtags in the caption bro
also he’s just gay. like there is no way that he likes anybody except men. if this bro wanted a gf he’s got plenty of hoes to choose from. But he didn’t. Also he treats his hoes like shit lmao
and don’t even THINK about bringing up his wife (whom didn’t even have a name cause she was so unimportant, for convenience I’m gonna call her samantha smith) bc you and me both know damn well that samantha smith only exists to continue the bloodline. we also all know damn well that araki would make plot points that contradict against characters to continue the story. people who think jotaro is straight need to get real
noriaki kakyoin: panromantic aceflux
listen I was going to say he was gay but I changed my mind because I really can’t imagine him caring about gender all that much. he does look like a twink tho I can’t deny it
Also araki did actually confirm that kakyoin likes both men and women (he said something along the lines of “I could see kakyoin falling in love with a man” idk I’m too lazy to look up exact wording) but I mean you can take one look at this dude and be able to tell that he is both not straight and has pronouns. I mean look at him
also I’m tired of people characterizing him as the UwU pissbaby fucktoy so he’s aceflux 1. Because I said so and 2. Because it just makes sense idk how to explain it
(ps if I see a kakyoin milf hunter joke in the comments to argue against kakyoin being not straight im going to fire a missile at your house bc telling the same joke for like 15 years isn’t funny luv xx)
polnareff: pansexual
dis bro is desperate. he can’t be affording to care about gender man he’s tried to rizz up like 15 genders and failed at all of them you think he can actually afford to be anything but pansexual? also he fr fr just gives off stereotypical chaotic pansexual vibes
jokes aside tho he def don’t care. aslong as you give him validation you’ve already won him over
muhammad avdol: gay demiromantic demisexual
he don’t really think about it all that much he only realizes if he likes somebody after he’s super close to them definitely. He do have a touch of the gay tho
if you disagree with any of these I would love to hear your headcanons in the comments!/gen
pls no like super heated arguments tho lol
also I might do parts 4-7 in another post cause this was fun asf
phroge777